Looking After

When I think about the ways to look after myself, I consider it literally as 'Looking'.

Looking at myself closely.

Looking at myself compassionately.

Looking at myself from different perspectives.


Imagine standing in a maze.

As you walk the path, you look at the centre of the maze from different positions.
You see the different views of the centre.

You do the same with your own health.

You put your current self in the centre of the maze and look at from different perspectives as you walk.

You look at the aspects of yourself closely and compassionately (no judgements here!).
What you eat.
How you sleep.
What your daily bowel motion is like.
What your desire.
How you are doing right now.

You look at the ways to make you feel at ease in the centre.
Is it a massage you need?
Is it an artistic expression you need?
Is it a physical exercise you need?
Is it to talk?
Is it to be in touch with soil?
Is it to voice?
Is it to meditate?

You look at the rhythm of you life.
I believe we all have individual unique cycles.

Just like walking in a maze, sometimes you notice you've walked very similar place before.
Just like walking in a maze, you get so close to the centre and suddenly you are so far away.
Just like walking in a maze, it makes it easier to understand why you are here when you look at yourself from the bird eyes.

A part of what I would like to offer at my clinic is about this.
Facilitating a space for you to find your own unique cycle.

I remember how it gave me a relief when I got to know about my own cycle of life.
Because it explained to me why certain things happened at certain times.
Some things happen, not because of what I did, but just because of...the cycle.

We all have rhythm in our life.
If we don't, it means we are dead.
Just like a cardiograph, if we don't have the pulsing rhythm, it means we are dead!!!

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There are many other ways to look at ourselves.

But one thing 'looking' does is to heal. (I'm not a big fan of the word but...)

Looking after (= looking back the path you took in the past compassionately)
Looking forward (= looking the path you will take in the future)

Looking at your current self means to heal your past and your future.

When We Are Anxious

When we are anxious and worried, I can tell you this for sure.


We are not present in the moment.


When we are caught by anxious thoughts and worries, we are not present for what's happening in front us.


What's going to happen next?
What if that fails?
What if I couldn't find it?
I might not survive.


All our anxieties and worries are for the future.

Even if you are reading this at a tip of a cliff worring 'What if I fall?', you haven't fallen yet.
You are worring for a future, even if it is mere 30 seconds away.

In reality, nothing is happening right now.

Absolutely, nothing.

Your brain might argue to justify your thinking process by saying "Well, but..." but it's true!

You are breathing, not dead and not losing anything right at this moment.

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Yesterday, I had to bring my old car to a garage unexpectedly and that costed unexpectedly high (my mechanic is brilliant and very reasonable. But still!).

I was glad to get it fixed.
Safety is most important.

But this morning, as I was making breakfast, my head began to worry...


What if I need that money for something next week? I've got lots of plans next week...
Do I have enough for this and that?


As I said, nothing was happening that made me need money right at that moment.

I was in the kitchen, flipping pancakes.
I was nowhere near that I can spend money in (the closest shop is 4km away!)

But my brain still managed to make up few scenarios 'Me Being In Trouble By Short Of Money'.

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As a part of the human evolution, our body has been developed in a way that it is possible to live a reality we imagined in our head.

When we imagine biting into a wedge of lemon, we feel saliva welling up in our mouth.

You think about someone you have a crush on and you feel your cheeks getting red. (No?)

When we hear a scary story, goosebumps come up on our arms.


Our body can react as if what we imagine in our head is a reality.

We can live our future worries and anxieties as our present reality.

I can live the scenario 'Me Stuck For Money Next Week' right now!

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So, what can I do in order not to live in anxiety?

My answer is to concentrate on what I'm doing at the moment.

Flipping pancakes.

My body's reality is that. Only that.

I'm at a warm, safe kitchen filled with sweet smell of pancakes, where there's no reason to spend money, my right hand gripping the familiar wooden handle of old iron skilett and my left hand feeling a smoothness of stainless steel spatula.

A surge of warmth spread from my lower tummy.

I moved to a sink to give a plate a quick rinse. I turned the tap and felt a warm water began to splush on my hands.
A drop and then a gush of liquid hitting my left hand...

Just that.

I was out of my virtual worry scenario.

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Meditations and mindfulness would have the similar aspects to what I said.


It's to choose which reality to live.

The one we created in our head?
Or the one our body is in?

Both are true.
No matter how enlightened we could be, shit would continue to happen in our life.

People might say to you 'Stop dreaming. Look at the reality.'
And they are right.

But which reality to look at.
That's the key for me.

What Does 'Self Care' Mean?

'Self Care'

I hear the term mentioned amongst my friends and SNS a lot these days.

I see people taking parts in all kind of practices from yoga to natural face mask to care for themselves.

I'm all for 'Self Care'.
The clinic I'm going to start from next month is for facilitating a space for the each clients to find the unique ways to care for themselves.

So, I would like to think about the idea 'Self Care' today.
What does it exactly mean to me?


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'Self Care'

It is to do a green clay face mask twice a week?
Is it to go for a spa treatment once a month?
Is it to go for a 'retail therapy' every two months to treat myself?
Is it to plan a mamas' night out every now and then?


My answer is YES and NO.


To me, 'Self Care' means paying attention to my body Every Single Day.

It's not a 'Treat' you do once every now and then.
It's not an 'Act' of buying a cloth or booking in for a yoga session.

It is to pay attention to me as much as I can.
It is an 'Act' of trying to understand my body with compassionate eyes.

The result of listening to myself may end with buying clothes or doing yoga.
But the 'Act' of buying or doing therapies don't heal me.
That's just a tiny fragment of what 'Self Care' means to me.


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I believe that you heal when you are heard by yourself.

And it's the body that you need to listen to.

We say 'Listen to your heart', don't we?

Where is your heart?
It's not in your head.
It's in your body.

Of course, the body includes our heads, too.
But we tend to listen to our brain more than other parts of the body.

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As I am starting my venture, I took a short business course.
One thing that made a lot of sense to me from the study was to include my body as a part of my business plan!

Yes!
Include my body when I talk about my dream!

When we have dreams, we tend to dream with our heads.

What do I want to do?
What do I want to be?
How can I do it?
Who to ask?
Where do I want to be in 5 years time?

Is your body included into that?

'Self Care' is making your body's dream come true.

What do I want to do now?
What do I want to be today?
How can I do to make my body's wish come true?
Who can I ask for help to make my wish come true?
Where do I want to be right NOW.

Yes.
You can make your body's wish come true right NOW.

You make your body's wish come true until every cells of your body get used to the idea of 'DREAMS ALWAYS COME TRUE'.

Until to the point that all those chatters in your head be silenced.

Well, I'm not good enough...
I don't have any experience...
There are much better person than I am for this role...
I will fail...
It will be difficult...

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See?

You used to think that it is tough to achieve what you want.
You used to think that you have to work hard to make your dream come true.

But your hard work can be fun.
You can work soft to achieve what you want.

It really is wonderful to live in this world, the materialistic, capitalism world once you know that there's no competition.
In truth, we have enough.
Enough for everyone's dreams to come true.

You don't have to check on competitors what they are doing because there's no competitors.
It's only you that you have to check every moments if you are well.

Have you eaten what you like for breakfast?
Are you wearing the cloth you like?
Are you going to bathroom when you want to go?
What would you like to do right now? A big stretch? Going for a short walk? Or a power nap?

You may not be able to make all your body's dreams come true.
But you listen to them at least.
And sometime, being listened to is enough.

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This is what 'Self Care' means to me.
Paying attentions to my body.
And it is the essential part of manifesting my dreams.