Life Expectancy

Do you calculate how many years you've left?

I do.
The avarage life expectancy of Japanese women is 87 years old.
But I've lived in Ireland for the past 20 years, so I look at the the avarage life expectancy of Irish women, too, which is 83 years old.

So, I take the middle: 85 as my life expectancy.

85 - 44 (my age) = 41

41 years is the amount of time left for me.

Yes, I'm over my half way!
I know, I may live longer than 85 but I find it is a  good practice to check a realistic amount of time I've got left and see what I want to do for that time.

If I survive more than 41 years, that'd be a bonus.
I could die earlier than that. It could be tomorrow.
..............................

I was talking to my mother today.
She is 73.
87 - 73 = 14
Just 14 years!

I usually go home to see her in Japan once in two years or so.
Which means that I've got only 7 times left to see her.
..............................

I'm not talking about being pessimistic about life.
I mean, our morality rate is 100% anyway.
Looking at the reality of time I have left helps me to wake up and make actions for the list of things I want to do for the next 41 years.

🍎What do I want to do for the next 41 years?
🍎What can I do to make them come true?
🍎Who are the important people in my life?

The answeres change every now and then.
But I write them down and see what they are and where I am in relation to where I want to be in future.

Because looking at them makes me live.
Yes.
When you start thinking about death is the time you truly begin to live.

You can check the avarage life expectancy of your nations on this site! https://www.infoplease.com/world/health-and-social-statistics/life-expectancy-countries

Have you got a pen and a notebook ready?
How long have you got?
What do you want to do the next 40, 30, 20, 10 years?
Who are the important people in your life?

Will you start 'living' today?

Be Infectious, Go Viral!

This might be an off-putting idea for some.
But I will write it anyway.

In the midst of the coronavirus outbreak, where the fear is playing a havoc in the society, I've wondered what would make me feel really strong both in mental and physical sense.

This is what I came up.

Here, I present you a simple mantra...

"I am the coronavirus."

It is NOT "I don't get the coronavirus." or "I fight the coronavirus." or "I hate the coronavirus."

But "I AM the coronavirus."

Yes, I become the coronavirus itself, rather than  being fearful about it.
But the important point is that I don't tap into the negativity associated with the virus.

Instead, I tap into the nature of the virus: how strong they are and how infectious they are.
And apply them with what I want to promote in the world; wellness, creativity, selfcare and peace.

When I say the statement, I can't deny the feeling of strength rose within me.

I mean, the coronavirus is literary the biggest 'influencer' in the society at the moment.

So, if you have ideas that you really would like to 'spread', the way the virus is working its way is...,dare I say, inspirational.

If you are an environmental activist who wish more people care about other creatures on earth and make changes,

If you are a peace maker who wish more people are willing to know about the conflicts around the world and take actions,

If you are an artist who wish to go 'viral' with your creations,

If you are a yogi who would like to promote the wellness in mind and body,

Why not to tap into the profound nature of the virus; rewrite, spread and stay strong, instead of being fearful about it?

"She has an 'infectious' laughter."
"His great music video went 'viral'."
"She is an 'influencer' in the world of environmental protection."

The words we are currently using in fearful ways have been used differently, too because those words are neutral; no negative or positive.

The energy is the same. The directions only exist. Which ways would you like to use the infectious, viral and influential energy?

We always have a choice.

Be influential, be infectious, go viral with what you believe to make the world more beautiful!

On The International Women's Day

I often say "Feminine nature is Power, masculine nature is Love."

It might seem a strange concept for some.
"Isn't it opposite? Women always seem to be talking about love. Whereas, men seem more competitive and into the power."

No.
The reason why women seems more into 'Love' is because THEY DON'T HAVE IT in their nature. (Well, they do have a bit. But it's not the main component.)

The reason why men seems more into 'Power is because THEY DON'T HAVE IT in their nature.

We are attracted to what we don't have in ourselves.
..............................

I often wonder men are more suited for parenting in nature.

Women seem to be too powerful to be bringing up a child.

I'm a mother myself.
And I must admit, when our son was smaller, the way I was protective about my son caused more stress than my partner's nonchalantly ways of caring about our son.

My powerful nature turned me into a grizzly mama bear who could not see a balanced view sometimes.

My partner may not be as careful as I am, but his spacey way of being around our son gave him more chance to make mistakes and learn from them.
And the love he gives to our son is the trust that you'll be ok even if you make mistakes. My partner's love comes through as the secure feeling that you'd be always accepted no matter what you do.
..............................

So.
I think women who are in politics or running her own business or in poweful positions in companies and being out there doing what they are passionate about, they are in the right places as long as our nature concerns.

Just imagine.
What is it like if the world leaders are all women?
We might chat a bit too long in bathroom between our meetings but I think the world would look differently.

Especially, we'd stop looking for the false idea of power that was created by men who didn't have 'power' in their nature. (I'm not dissing men, here.)

The idea of power we've had for centuries is the false image of the power.
Men don't have power in nature.
So, when they created the image of power, it came out superficial.
It didn't have the true nature of power.
And we, women went along with that false idea created by men.
We looked for the same things men looked for: by looking outside, by competing with others...

In fact, women have always had the power inside.

So, what is the true nature of power?

I think it is creativity and bravery.

Giving birth is a biological creativity and bravery (pregnancy and birthing can be still life threatening sometimes).

Looking at situations from different perspectives and making a change require creativity and bravery whether they are about financial or environmental issues.
..............................

For the day that's in it, I salute both to the powerful nature of feminine and loving nature of masculine.

For a long time, our roles have been confused.
I believe when we remember our true natures, our 'dream team works' will take us to infinite possibilities.

Accepting Your Quality

Imagine yourself as fish 'n chips.

But somehow, you think bolognese is more popular than fish 'n chips.

So, you decide that you try to be more like bolognese; you pretend you are a tomatoey, meaty, Italian dish.

People who like bolognese come close to you.
Your friends and colleague think you are bolognese.
Your partner thinks you are bolognese, too.
They will try to sprinkle you with freshly grated parmesan cheese and put a basil leaf on top of you because that's what bolognese is about.

But you are fish 'n chips in disguise.
There will be a day you can't bear being the cheesy, meaty mess any more because your true nature is vinegary, fishy crispiness.
So, you began showing your chips here and there.
One day, you will say to everyone...
"I'm fish 'n chips! Stop sprinkle me with parmesan cheese! Sprinkle me with vinegar! You should love me as I am! Fish 'n chips is also nice, isn't it???"

"......."


Well.
I think it's fair enough if they leave you then.
Because they were people who like bolognese. They might have nothing against fish 'n chips but they didn't know that you were not bolognese.
I could imagine the confusion when someone finds out that they were eating fish 'n chips while they thought it was bolognese all along...


There are many people who love fish 'n chips.
Believe me.

If you show openly that you are fish 'n chips, people who like fish 'n chips come close to you.
You become friends with fish 'n chips lovers.

You thought the stinks of vinegar would put off people?
No, no, no!
More you smell vinegary, more attractive you are to some!
Someone find your greasy newspaper wrapping really lovely.

You can leave the rest of people in peace; bolognese lovers, curry lovers and sushi lovers can go else where. Not everyone has to love fish 'n chips.
The diversity is a key to all the thriving communities on earth!

Any relationship is not about others.
It's about you; if you can accept your qualities.

Being Unreasonable is A Reasonable Behavior

When my son was throwing a tantrum, I used to try explaining how unreasonable his behavior was.

Now that I think of...

HOW UNREASONABLE I WAS!

Because children often behave certain ways with...no reason.

Ok, he might have too much sugar on that day.

Something might be triggered in him that I hurt him in the past.

I can try to reason his behaviour from the explanations in child psychology articles...

But also, they are the beings that they can go so far with a momental emotion so that they can not come back easily.

It's like a momentum temper driving them, nothing more than that.

In fact, I remembered the feeling in me as a little girl!

After a while, I didn't know why I was crying so hard.

After a while, I didn't know why I was pouting my lips and couldn't say sorry.

It was more of a physiological reaction based on sympathetic nervous system, 'fight and flight' condition... 

On those occasions, it is actually unreasonable of adults to request children to behave reasonably or understand the situations.

Because it is treating them like adults! 

They are two different matters: treating my son as an equal individual and treating him as an adult.

Expecting him to understand my explanations.

Expecting him to be reasonable.

Expecting him to deal with it calmly...

Little children are not meant to do that.

And yet, we adults request them to do that so often and praise the kids when they can do that.

"You are a good boy/girl!"

I found myself expecting too much from my son.

Just because he could.

In truth, a little child like him is entitled to be unreasonable, allowed to be 'childish'.

When a kid is not allowed to be a kid and being expected to behave like an adult, I think they can not be an adult when they grow up.

They still keep their inner child who weren't allowed to be childish when they were small.

.......................................................................

Other day, my son had a big disappointment.

My partner and I tried to console him and explained why the plan had to change. 

He wasn't having it and spitted on my partner's jacket out of anger. 

He was told off and asked to apologise. 

Our explanations and reasoning weren't making any difference in the situation.

Our way of looking at him with piercing gazes wasn't doing any favour to anyone.

I stood up to go to the bathroom (I was bursting!).

When I came back, I opened my arms and he rolled onto my lap.

I wasn't talking about him any more but talking about myself.

"I'm not good at saying sorry. But I think someone who could say sorry is super cool. Like a super hero. Really cool. So, I want to be someone who can say sorry."

I stopped expecting him to apologise.

On that cue, a little red face murmured "...sorry."

I wonder why I forgot the feelings from the time I was a child.

Why do I refer parenting guidances more than how I felt when I was a child?

Why do I look at the child rearing from the perspectives of a parent, not as a person who used to be a kid herself once? 

I have mare 6 years experience as a mother but have a full term experience as a child. 

My son doesn't have any problems.

He is just being a child as rightly so.

It is my problem if I see his behavior as problems; it is a little child in me that I need to listen to.

Bye Bye Inner Troopers

A coin always comes with both sides.

I feel a positive side of this coronavirus outbreak is that it's showing us the time to let go of our inner troopers.

Our inner troopers have been great.
They are resilient.
They put others' needs before your need.
They feel responsible for others' wellness. ("If I don't do it, who will?")
They helped us trudge through to get things done.

But.
This outbreak may be showing us that looking after ourselves are benefitting others' wellness.

In fact, we may not have to do everything we thought we had to do.
Asking for help is not against trooper's spirit.
Asking for help is often the bravest thing you can do.✨

Yes! This is the time to be brave enough to trust that things are being looked after at your absence.

So, rest if you are not feeling well.
It could be the best thing you can do for everyone.
And it gives a chance for others to shine; you know how great it feels to be able to help others?
Taking a rest is not only beneficial for you but for others to feel good about themselves.

And I think this is really the time to embrace our technology.
Online shopping, instead of going out to the shops.
Skype meeting, instead of going out to attend a meeting.
Working online at home, instead of going to the office.
Online lectures, instead of going to school.

Meeting in person can never replace virtual meetings. But for the time like this, technology is our big friend.
..............................

Everything comes with both sides.
The negativity of the situation is magnified at this moment.
But if we are willing to see the other side, we will find it.
A pinch could be a chance.

Wishing you all a restful weekend!