What Is Failure?

The first half of 2019 has gone.

It has been active 6 months for me; starting up a new venture, facilitating workshops, being involved in acting, being invited abroad to sing and having been planted many seeds for the next half of the year.

One big gain for me throughout this time is that I've managed to digest and utilize an idea of...


Now is everything.


Yes!

It becomes a habit for me to be aware of my energy whenever I move.
I'm not concerned about the end result much, but am concerned if I am having fun right now.
I'm not valuing how I would feel once 'I succeed', but valuing the process I enjoy at each steps to get to the end.

Because I don't see much differences between success and failure anymore these days.

They are fleeting stuff.

Let's say, I facilitate a workshop in Dublin.

If someone in the group found it really interesting and asked her friend who works in Google to host my workshop in the Silicon Valley which resulted Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates making flower mandala side by side, then, I would always look it back as a great success that brought me to incredible adventures. 🌼🌺🙄🌻

But if I got involved in a car accident on the way back from the workshop, I might look it back and say "I wish I haven't done that workshop".

I just don't know.
It's the same workshop but I don't know how the external forces would work for/against me in future.
And in that regard, the past as well.
If something positive/negative happens relating to a neutral past experience, the past also changes to positively or negatively depending on now.

What is success and failure?
You never know until the end of your life how things would turn out.
Stephen Hawking said "God is quite a gambler." and so I feel.

So, rather than counting on the numbers on the dice, I decided to go for more countable stuff - NOW.

As long as I'm having fun right now, that's all it matters.
Nothing more important than paying attentions to the energy I emit.

There are business norms such as...

Post regularly on SNS to keep your online presence.
Have a website up as soon as possible.
Reply to the enquiries as soon as possible.

But to me, if I have to do those things for 'success', I feel exhausted and it takes joy out of what I do at the end.
My creativity dries up and I end up not much to offer to anyone.

Whereas, if I wait a little until the wave rises within me, I can be most creative and be useful for others.

Not moving is scary.
Especially, when I see other people moving forward swiftly.

But if it is all about how I am feeling right now, I know there's no one to compete with.

Yes.
In truth, whether it is business or anything else in life, there are no competitors, no success or failure.

It's just me in the present moment.