Extra Extra...😅
This post is following from the previous 4 posts.
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Vol. 1
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Vol. 2
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Vol. 3 (Possibly The End...?)
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Extra!
..................................
So, you might want to ask me a question.
'Mayumi, are you saying you don't judge anybody or anything anymore?'
The answer is...
I do!
I totally judge people! 😂
Other day, I was driving behind a white car.
We stopped at a junction waiting for the main road to be clear of the cars so that we can turn into it. Somehow, the white car didn't move fast enough when the road got clear so that we were stuck at the junction for another while.
Then, I saw a young female hand with a cigarette stretched out from the window at the driver's side.
I judged.
I judged her instantly.
I couldn't even tell you what it was for that I judged her.
It was almost a reflex.
I went "Tut! Tut!" in my mind to 'A young woman with a hand holding a cigarette.'
When I catch myself judging, I just... catch myself.
"Ah! I judged her now."
I don't criticize or blame myself for judging but I just accept that I have a judgement to 'A young woman with a cigarette.'
Then I look into myself deeper why I have a judgement to 'A young woman with a cigarette.'
1: Why do I think that way?
2: Where does the idea come from?
3: Is it my own judgement or was it influenced by someone or some situations that happened before?
4: Is my judgement universally, unconditionally and definitely true?
5: If answer is no, it's time for me to let go of the judgement.
In this case, I realized that I was influenced by my parents' idea of 'woman who smoke is not proper'. My father, in particular, hated smoking but his mother (my granny) smoked daily. He adored his mother but he hated smoking. I remember feeling this contradictions in him. I consider contradictions in human behavior and mind are normal. But I know many struggle with contradictions. (My next theme for the workshop, by the way...←Ads😝)
And I ask myself a question,
'Woman who smoke is not proper' - is this universally, unconditionally and definitely true?
No. It's not.
So, I let go of the judgement.
.............................................
I don't think I will ever be free of judgemental self.
In fact, I cherish my judgemental side sometime.
Being judgemental is an important part of being an artist.
I can't create without having an eye to judge what is beautiful and what is meaningful to me.
People who are not so judgemental are kind people.
They accept people as they are and appreciate their ways.
Artistic people and kind people.
Both are wonderful.
And both are just different qualities in people.
The fact that all of us are diamonds don't change whether you are artistic or kind.
But if being judgemental makes your life difficult, you can look at it one by one and let go of it.
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Vol. 2
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Vol. 3 (Possibly The End...?)
Fear of Being Judged by Others; Extra!
..................................
So, you might want to ask me a question.
'Mayumi, are you saying you don't judge anybody or anything anymore?'
The answer is...
I do!
I totally judge people! 😂
Other day, I was driving behind a white car.
We stopped at a junction waiting for the main road to be clear of the cars so that we can turn into it. Somehow, the white car didn't move fast enough when the road got clear so that we were stuck at the junction for another while.
Then, I saw a young female hand with a cigarette stretched out from the window at the driver's side.
I judged.
I judged her instantly.
I couldn't even tell you what it was for that I judged her.
It was almost a reflex.
I went "Tut! Tut!" in my mind to 'A young woman with a hand holding a cigarette.'
When I catch myself judging, I just... catch myself.
"Ah! I judged her now."
I don't criticize or blame myself for judging but I just accept that I have a judgement to 'A young woman with a cigarette.'
Then I look into myself deeper why I have a judgement to 'A young woman with a cigarette.'
1: Why do I think that way?
2: Where does the idea come from?
3: Is it my own judgement or was it influenced by someone or some situations that happened before?
4: Is my judgement universally, unconditionally and definitely true?
5: If answer is no, it's time for me to let go of the judgement.
In this case, I realized that I was influenced by my parents' idea of 'woman who smoke is not proper'. My father, in particular, hated smoking but his mother (my granny) smoked daily. He adored his mother but he hated smoking. I remember feeling this contradictions in him. I consider contradictions in human behavior and mind are normal. But I know many struggle with contradictions. (My next theme for the workshop, by the way...←Ads😝)
And I ask myself a question,
'Woman who smoke is not proper' - is this universally, unconditionally and definitely true?
No. It's not.
So, I let go of the judgement.
.............................................
I don't think I will ever be free of judgemental self.
In fact, I cherish my judgemental side sometime.
Being judgemental is an important part of being an artist.
I can't create without having an eye to judge what is beautiful and what is meaningful to me.
People who are not so judgemental are kind people.
They accept people as they are and appreciate their ways.
Artistic people and kind people.
Both are wonderful.
And both are just different qualities in people.
The fact that all of us are diamonds don't change whether you are artistic or kind.
But if being judgemental makes your life difficult, you can look at it one by one and let go of it.
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