Me and Religions

It's been a while I post on this blog.

(I post regularly on my business Facebook page if you are interested in reading them.  My Self Care Journey )

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The festive season is upon us. My son (age 5) talks nothing but Christmas these days. 

However, he goes to a non religious school.

So, he's learnt about Diwali, Hanukkah and other religious celebrations in the world as well as Christmas since he started the school last September.

The way he embraces different religious celebrations made me think about my own religious background.

"What is your religion?"

I don't get asked the question that often but when it happens, it takes a moment for me to reply.

It is not because I'm an atheist.

On the contrary, I went through 4 different religions at the earlier stage of my life.

My parents respect all religions they've encountered in their lives.

But Buddhism and Shintoism (originate in Japan) are the two main religions they've been following. Since Japan has the long history of 'Shared practice in Shintoism and Buddhism (神仏習合)', I think it is a common enough style for many Japanese people.

When I was about 7, I was sent to a Protestant Sunday School by my parents. They didn't have any intention to convert me into a Christian. It was just because they thought it was a good idea for me and my sister to learn something different from the academic subjects.

I was given a bible which was a book with the smallest font I had ever seen in my life. So, I didn't read it. But I can still recite Lord's Prayer off my heart from the years I spent there. And I used to pray before I went to bed and asked for forgiveness from God. I think that was my earliest memory of the idea that someone invisible watching me and that I could not hide any bad behaviors. 

I found the church was dark and cold and had a strange smell. We didn't have a pastor but had two pastoresses. We had an old lady with a middle aged daughter first and a new pastoress after the old lady with a daughter retired. All of them spoke softly, looked pale and not so expressive.

We sang songs but none of the songs were like the ones we sang in school or at home. They had beautiful melodies but the lyrics were strange to my ear.  Again, I can still sing them to this day. I did the Christmas play, too (Me = shepherd, my sister = a sheep).

My visit to the church got less frequent, as I began to get too 'busy' on Sunday mornings by watching an American sitcom 'Different Strokes'.

Instead, I began getting interested in Buddhism sutra when I was about 11. One day, I found 'The Heart Sutra', the most well-known sutra in Japan, printed on the back of a flyer in between the morning news paper. All written with Chinese letters with Hiragana (Japanese) on the side so that I could read them all. What strange sounds they were when I read them out loud! Gya-tei-gya-tei-hara-gya-tei-hara-sou-gyatei!? I had been always fascinated by listening to Buddhist monks' chanting whenever I sat in temples. I couldn't detect where their voices were coming from.  It felt like the vibrations shook every bells and tapestries in the room.
I decided to memorise the Heart Sutra. I can still recite most of the Heart Sutra to this day. I like the philosophical approaches even if I feel Buddhism is a male orientated religion. (When Buddha was finally persuaded by Ananda, who was his cousin and had accompanied most of Buddha's journey, to allow women to be Buddhist monks, he said that Buddhism would extinct 500 years earlier by allowing female monks.) 

Apart from the sounds of sutras, I also appreciate many Buddhism practitioners' perspectives. I like how the religion encouraged us to search inwardly, rely inwardly rather than looking externally for inspirations. 

Then, I worked as a shrine maiden at a Shintoism shrine between 17 to 19. I was helping the priest at the ceremonies and the festivals. I liked the shrine maiden's outfit.  I liked the idea that every objects on earth have gods inside them and their sacredness lies in nature. So, the real sacred part of any shrines are actually not in the buildings, it's the forest behind them. I liked that the gods and goddesses are quite like humans - they get angry, grumpy and holly. It is a harmony in chaos just like nature itself. Unlike Buddhism, I feel Shintoism is a feminine religion. Amaterasuohmikami - the Sun God, the protector of the country, is a goddess (although there is a new study revealing that she could be male lately.) 

The priest at the shrine was short tempered, middle aged, overweight man whose father wished him a good wife to look after him. I don't know what happened to the shrine now. Almost 10 years ago, I went back to visit there. It looked abandoned. I spent a little while there alone to pray. I had a strange experience after that but that will be a story for some other times.

And then, I came to Ireland and stayed in a student accommodation in a suburb of Dublin for 2 years. It was run by Catholic nuns from South America and Spain. I don't know what you'd imagine when you hear an accommodation run by Catholic nuns in Ireland. But the sisters there were so much fun with groovy dance moves and life stories to change my image of stereotypical women who go into religious life. One of the new things I experienced there was a curfew. If you didn't make it to the curfew (around 12am), you have to wait until the door is unlocked at 6 am the next morning. If you call the sisters from the disco that you are coming back in the morning, it's no problem. But if you don't call them, you are in trouble. I remember waiting outside of the door with inmates for few hours after coming back from a party. So, the curfew wasn't there to protect the students. It was there for the students to take responsibilities of their actions. There was no sense of over protectiveness. And it was interesting to witness the sister's approaches to the balance between business and faith. It was done lovingly, a matter-of-fact-ly and boldly sometimes. I still have great photos from a long summer's day we all got on the sisters' wagon and went to a beach. Sisters all took off their shoes and run into the sea lifting their habits! 

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I agree with some parts and also disagree with other parts in all religions I've encountered.
One thing I can say is that I've appreciated who they are than what they preach when I met each religious practitioners.
I don't know enough about the teachings of all 4 religions I mentioned above. But I opened towards those who were kind, loved a bit of laugh, missed their families, made mistakes sometimes and forgave; their human qualities. And I saw their Gods when those very human qualities shone through them.

Would I wish I had had the one and only God to believe in my life?
No, I don't think so.
I feel I'm a lucky human whose life has been enriched by meeting all different religious practitioners.

Wake Up. You Are Amazing!

Sometimes, I'm overwhelmed by the urge to grab your shoulders and shake.

"You are amazing!"

The way you underestimate yourself is a joke.
I'll tell you what I mean.

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You eat breakfast every morning.
Do you know how many people skip breakfast? Getting up early enough to eat breakfast means you care for your wellness.
Sometimes, you even cook porridge for breakfast instead of corn flakes.
OMG!

What!? You read a book on the way to work?
These days, so few people read 'books'. Many are just happy with reading online articles here and there.
You are so bloody intellectual!

You hummed your favourite tune as you make yourself coffee.
Do you know how humming has a direct effect on the vagus nerve?
You are doing amazing favour for your inflammatory condition.
What? You didn't know?
You must be a natural born healer or something...

You cooked dinner for your family.
Are you a reincarnation of Mother Teresa?
You could have just ordered a take away on Monday night, but instead, you cooked not only for you but for the entire family.
You must be a saint.
Hm? What's this light?
Is that a halo I see behind you...?

You went to bed early.
That's like the best self care you can give to yourself.
You're looking after yourself so well.
You set your priorities right.
So wise.
You don't need me (therapist).
I call you the Self Care Yoda.

You flushed the toilet.
How considerate you are...
In my household, I'm the only one who flush the toilet.
You are so thoughtful.

You said hello to your colleagues.
You don't know what your 'hello' means to people. Most of us are too busy to say it or just ignore others.
You lift people up.
You must be an angel.
Better give Francis a call in Vatican at this stage...

You gave a hug to someone today?
&%#@+=3!?*
Are you God?
I must be talking to God.

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Wake up.
You are amazing!

Young People These Days

I'm 43 years old. Whether the age is considered young or old, it's up to individuals to decide.
But it is safe to say that I'm at the 'middle' age.

All my life, I have been one of the youngest of most groups I belonged to.
Choirs, poetry club, tanka (a Japanese poetry) club and circles of friends..., I was the baby of the groups. And I liked the status very much!
(Even when I was a small kid, I preferred hiding under the table listening to the adults' conversations than playing with other kids!)

My uncle, my teachers and other interesting adults taught me valuable lessons in different areas in life and I'm forever grateful for not only their knowledges but also their generousities to let me follow them wherever they go.
And, that still continues.
I have some older teachers that I still would love to follow everywhere they go like a puppy. 🐕

However.
Recently, I got few occasions to work with younger people; starting from as little as 5 years old up to early 40s.

And I was constantly dazzled by their talents, open mindedness, innovative minds, flexibilities and abilities to look for the essence rather than decorative packages or superficial matters!

They were my singing teachers, the participants of my workshop, and people whom I studied together, and of course, my son.

If I'm Nokia, they are iPhone 11.
Love Nokia's stability but also love all the fun and technologies iPhone 11 can offer, too!

Up until few years ago, I used to look side way and think scornfully "I can't connect with younger people..."
How shortsighted I was!
Anyway, what was I going to do when I'd be 95 saying "I can't connect with younger people..."?
Most of older people will be under the graves by then.

The younger people I met have welcomed Nokia-me with open arms and listened to me open heartedly but I felt so many times that I didn't have to explain much to them.
I felt they've already known how to connect with their gut and their intuitions.
And if they want information, they have better access to it than Nokia does.

Then, I wondered what I can offer them as an older person.

My answer is to show them how I fall and how I stand up again!

That's I can offer.

After all, what I was ashamed of as mistakes in my life might not be just useless failures.
I could be a living proof that we all have invisible safety belts that we would be ok whatever happens in life!

I received many messages from younger people since my workshop. And I'm ever so happy to hear about them and also looking forward to share my magnificent falls and the experiences of getting back on track.

As a sturdy Nokia, I still have a lot I can contribute for younger people.
But for lot of other things, I'm ready to knock their doors for inspirations.

Life is A Journey To Collect Evidences for Our Beliefs

Yes!

It is a journey to prove what we decided to believe is 'correct.'

So, if your belief is 'I'm not lovable',
you'd look for evidences that could prove your belief is right!

🌱He hadn't returned my call.
🌱I wasn't invited.
🌱She slammed the door.
🌱I was ignored by them.

You can't settled for 'He must have forgotten.' or 'The wind was so strong that the door closed too quickly.'
Because you are on the journey of collecting the proofs that 'you are not lovable.'

But we often don't realize that we are on the proof-collecting-journey. 💡

So, we make efforts.
Here, you make efforts to be 'a lovable human'.

🌱Being understanding of others' needs.
🌱Prioritizing others.
🌱Trying to sort things by yourself when you really can do with some help.
🌱Being the last person to stay to clean up.

People appreciate your kindness.
But their appreciations don't resonate in you deeply.

Because.
Your belief is 'I'm not lovable.'

So, it's the path that you have to keep making efforts without fulfillments.

No matter how much people tell you that they love you and that you are wonderful, talented and kind human being, it doesn't resonate in you.

Because.
Your belief is 'I'm not lovable.'
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The good news is you don't have to make that efforts anymore! 🎊

You just need to rewrite your belief.

'I'm loved.'
'I've always been loved.'

It's not easy.
But everytime you collect all your courage to find the proofs of 'I'm loved' (I call this process 'Bungee Jumping' 😂), you rewrite your belief firmly.

🌱Ask for help.
🌱Prioritze your needs.
🌱Say 'No'.
🌱Leave the gathering first and leave the dirty dishes to someone else.😂

It's not the efforts we need.
It's the courage that we need.

What would you be collecting these evidences for?

Asking for Help

It is the first day of the big school for my son.

On the way to the school, I noticed that my petrol tank was low.

Me: I'm low on the petrol. We have to stop at the petrol station on the way.

My son: Is the car going to stop before we get to the school if we don't put on the petrol?

Me: Well, I don't know. But even if it stops we will be ok.

My son: Yes! We have AA and also people can stop to help us. (We had such an incidence before that many kind people stopped to help us when we run out of petrol!)

Me: Yes. In fact, we can always get help for many things. When you need a help with your garden, you can ask auntie Frances. If you want to learn about storytelling, you can call auntie Fiona. If you want to make a pot, you can call uncle Andrew for advice. If you want to learn singing, you can ask uncle Frank... 

Soon we found out that there are so many people in our lives with different talents that we can call up for help.

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We are expected to look after ourselves.
My son is encouraged to get dressed by himself, tidy up after him and hang his jacket on his own.

But being able to ask for help is another important skill in life.

Today, he will meet many kids with different talents; someone who is good with Lego, someone who is good at drawing, someone who is good at swimming.

All the way to the school, we imagined who he would meet today in the classroom and what talents all of them would have.

May we remember that we don't have to be stuck.
We always have a help.
And asking for help from others is a way to shine a spot light onto other's talents.
And asking for help is a way of self care.

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Me: So, what's your talent?

My son: Helping people to choose what cars to buy! (he's always been crazy about cars.)

Recommendation for Imitation

My son's toy car mandala!

Many have negative ideas for the words such as imitations, mimicking and copying.

We have copy rights and trade marks for artists and brands for their unique styles.

And if you are an artist or want to express something in public, one of the first requirements is 'originality'.

But I wonder.

Isn't originality something you can't avoid anyway if you live your life?
No matter how you try to mimic someone's way of being, your uniqueness is always...coming trough the outer layer.
Like your finger prints, ultimately your style is the one and only.
I mean, you can't be anyone but yourself.

So, in a way, it is such a pity that people are timid to express themselves just because they are afraid of being 'not original enough'.

I'm all for being mimicked.

I consider being mimicked means that I've inspired someone.

If you type in '花曼荼羅' (flower mandala in Japanese) in Google, many pictures of my flower mandala come up in different websites.
Someone is making a collaboration video of their singing bowl music and my flower mandala.

Either ways with credit or without credit, I am happy that people like what I make.
And nothing makes my heart jumps with joy than the moment I see flower mandala made by my friends or their friends on my Facebook timeline.

I do respect other artists' copy rights myself as I understand where they are coming from.
There are people who make fake products for greed and fame.
But what do they get by doing that?
Money?
But so what?
It is a vain, meaningless, waste-of-energy-act that their own creativity itself would know in deep down.
It is more violating to their own souls (their own creativities) than someone's artistic works.

We can not be anything but original.
At the end of the day, you can not mimic anyone.
You can not be anyone else but yourself.

If you find anything beautiful, anything that moves you in life, I hope you are not afraid of mimicking them.
Soon you will find what you create is nothing but your original.

My Service Is Not For Everyone and For Everyone

It has been just over a month since I launched my business.

There are two things that are considered to be crucial for business and yet I still don't have or intend to have in future.

Which are...


Business cards and flyers (except workshop flyers)


?????


Majority of people in therapy business have their business cards and flyers.
At business course, I was taught that they were one of the first things I'd need.
And I even went on ordering a set of flyers last month.


But.

I decided not to have them...because I never keep them myself!

I mean, I used to take flyers and business cards from shops but I didn't usually keep them.
More than 95% of them go into the bin!

I don't know about you but I found they are waste of resources in this age of internet.

The reason why I realized about this is because I ordered a set of flyers from a local printer whose job was unsatisfactory to me.
He wasn't following up with queries and breaking deadlines without contacting me.
At the end, I decided to cancel  the order.

At that time, I thought I've lost so many business opportunities by not having flyers at workshops and was planning to use another printer.

But I stopped for a moment and thought what I usually did with flyers and business cards I took.
Most of time, I throw them away without contacting them!

You may want to say "Well, you might be so but you are losing potential clients who are different from you..."

No.

I am my target clientele.

My service is not targeted to everyone.
It is for someone who find what I offer resonate with them.

I love what I sell.
I really do believe that taking care of yourself is the best thing you could do for you, your family, your community and the rest.

So, I'm selling my service to those who believe in it, too.

How can a therapy be effective on someone who doesn't believe in it?

So, other day, when I was invited to provide my service at an event, I didn't have a single flyer or business card to give to public.

I had a framed piece of paper explaining the service I offer, the flyers for the most recent upcoming workshop (but not for taking!) and a slide show of my mandala.

What did happen?

People who are interested in took a photo of flyers with their phones.
People who are interested in engaged with me in conversations to know more about it.
People who are interested in wrote down their numbers and email addresses on my note book.


And that's enough for me.

Those people are not taking flyers and business cards mindlessly only to bin them.

When I make things, I put so much love and attentions.
So, if I make flyers, I would select the quality of papers, colours, layouts, pictures of mandala and flowers and herbs with care.
And I can't bear to find my flyers in the bin at the end of events!😭

Am I too obsessed?
Well, if I don't love it that much, I don't see the point of going through all the troubles to start up my own business.
I'd have been just happy being employed somewhere.


So, my service is not for everyone.
I'm not trying to catch every passer-by.

I'm at service for people who find my perspectives resonate with them.
That's why I don't save myself from transmitting messages on social medias.
It's no time for me to play 'cool'.
I want to share my passion for Self Care with those who care!


Having said that my service is not for everyone, it's also not only for people who are unwell either.

It is for everyone who want to tap into their unheard messages from their guts.
For those who want to find the most harmonious and effortless ways to work with your potentials.

I believe that if everyone begin accepting who they are and their desires, and start working for their dreams, it benefits whole lot of people who are around them.

It's just like a piece of jigsaw puzzle, you fit into the space that is dedicated only for you by not 'trying to be someone better' but being yourself.

So, contact me for a chat regardless of your health conditions!

Your selfishness benefits everyone including myself.

🌼Email: mayumi_nakabayashi@hotmail.com
🌺Tel: 00353 (0)868828381
☺Face book: My Self Care Journey
📸Instagram: @mayuminakabayashi

🌻Upcoming Workshop🌱
Diversity Within Us: Microbiota & Flower Mandala Making
10am - 12pm, 24th August, @The Wilds Enniscorthy, Wexford, Ireland